Weaknesses and All

I wrote in an earlier post that I seemed to stop writing on this blog when I started drifting away from God. I found in recent weeks quite the opposite. I simply haven't been interested in writing because I've been so concentrated on God Himself.

That's good, the "not interested in writing" part (that the other part is goes without saying), because that means I'm willing to count it as rubbish, to give it up in a heartbeat. I learned when we were preparing to board the Doulos that if I'm not willing to give up my dearest dream--at that time it was writing songs--then I'm not following Jesus. The step I took then wasn't even the giving up of the songwriting; that came after and was so much a joy rather than a giving up. The actual step was a small one which He honored with such a filling that nothing, nothing else mattered.

So I've known since then that I could do it again. This new form of writing had become dear to me, but hey, I shrug now, it's incidental. It doesn't even matter to me that I may not be able to come up with things anymore (writer's block or worse, in other words). I had, actually, been systematically drafting and then deleting all the old posts on here (sorry, I inadvertently lost some old comments that way) for various reasons: I was afraid that Blogger would pull a Facebook and declare that all content belonged to them forever regardless of deletions or even a deleted account; I intended to stop writing on here completely and close down my account; I simply had nothing to say; and so on.

However, readings and encounters of late have been given me pause. I may yet write more (this doesn't count ;)), if only to use this as my place to vent something which has no place else to go, such as in a book. Who knows--maybe something will even be of use somewhere, someday.